Painfully Perfect

Brown Eyes. Artistic Spark. Caring Heart. Family Values. Genuine Laugh. These are just a few of the amazing traits that I’ve been so fortunate to receive from my mom. But there is one trait, that I am glad was not passed down to me, and that’s her need to always have a façade of a calm, cool and collected woman. Through the toughest times in our lives, when uncertainty was all we knew she would talk to her brothers and sisters as if our family were a part of a sappy 70’s sitcom.  She could never let them know that things were slowly crumbling, or that maybe she couldn’t handle what was being thrown at her. Instead with a false smile on her face she would say that everything was Hunky-Dory and never allow her family to try to help her.

I don’t know why she never felt that she could let others in on everything in her life, the good and the bad. Maybe it’s because if its said allowed, then she has to admit it to her self as well. Or that she’s afraid of what others will think when they hear about what has been happening. In either case, it was not healthy.

Lately however she has started to turn a new leaf, partly out of necessities and partly because of my own loud mouth when it comes to such issues (I have no problem letting people know the good, the bad or the ugly in my life). And even if it was an unwanted change, it was a change that she needed. And I think finally she is beginning to see it pay off. No longer is she burdened with all her woes on her shoulders alone, she is starting to realize that there are people who love her and who are willing to help her carry it. And that in its self must be a freeing piece of knowledge.

So to all those out there who have a veneer of painful perfection, I ask you to please allow someone else into your life and introduce them to the skeletons you’ve been hiding in your closet. Because as soon as you do, it will no longer be just you against the world, rather a brawling bash filled with laughs and tears and most importantly, you being free.