Emotional Healing. Child of an alcoholic. Young adult depression. Inspiration.

I was once told by a wise woman that emotions are a strong force to be reckoned with. They breathe their own life and have their own destructive force. If one does not allow their emotions both happy and sad to escape and feel acknowledged, they will eat away at the life they live in. My journey in life has been a road filled with many peaks of happiness and many valleys of depression. But through it all I have held those words of wisdom with me. I have always found it easy to release my anguish, my depression, my sadness, and my happiness to those around me who love me and to my best friends “pad and paper.”

With this blog I hope to inspire others to write their emotions on paper, let the forgiving page hear all the words of hurt, pain, contentment, joy. With this blog I hope to inspire myself to forgive all that hurts in my life, to let go of old grudges and to grow, from the inside out.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

My Moniker, Magnet

After a hectic day at work a co-worker and I decided to go get a drink at a local bar. This co-worker had recently gone on a spree of nicknaming our other colleagues, but had yet to figure out what fit best for me. In the middle of a conversation over our beer he had a “eureka” moment, “MAGNET” he exclaimed, “That’s it, your Magnet.” When I asked him why he decided this would be my name he said because of the strange people I seem to attract. Well that’s perfect I thought, a man that I’ve really only known at work already knows about my propensity to attract the strange in the world.
This however has been something that my family has known about me for years, they used to call me the Mother Theresa of the freaks, geeks and whores. My friends could have been described as a menagerie of characters ranging from the drama kids, to the outcasts, to the girls in school who gave “it” up to easily. And yet I didn’t fit into any of those groups. I didn’t have the dedication to be part of Drama, I was too much a social butterfly to be part of the outcasts and I was as pure as the driven snow. But despite that I still seemed to attract people from all of these different groups.
My aunt asked me once what it was about all these different people that I liked in them. After thinking about it for a while I responded to her saying that I think I like projects. We laughed at the idea, but then the realism of what I said set in. I did like projects, I have an ability to see the positive in people, glorify them and see their potential in life, and then I try to help them reach that potential, whether they want it or not. And that became a problem, because although I always had friends in my life, I never had them for very long. And in retrospect it is most likely because I did try to change them or mold them into what I thought they could be. Though this pattern ended years ago, I still try to keep a check on my high expectations of others, and understand that change can only come when it’s wanted.
So although my friendship projects have ended, that doesn’t mean my magnetism toward weird and wonderful individuals hasn’t. As my coworker said best “if there’s a weird-o in a ten minute radius, they’ll find you” now I just don’t try to make them my friends, or if I do, I don’t change them.


  1. I have felt defensive about my work here. But your description of projects and seeing the positive in people is exactly where I am at. It propels me. And I think you'd admit, it's these projects that help give meaning to our lives.

  2. Lets hear it for the Freaks the Geeks and Whores!

  3. Everyone get out your freak flags and fly them high!