Emotional Healing. Child of an alcoholic. Young adult depression. Inspiration.

I was once told by a wise woman that emotions are a strong force to be reckoned with. They breathe their own life and have their own destructive force. If one does not allow their emotions both happy and sad to escape and feel acknowledged, they will eat away at the life they live in. My journey in life has been a road filled with many peaks of happiness and many valleys of depression. But through it all I have held those words of wisdom with me. I have always found it easy to release my anguish, my depression, my sadness, and my happiness to those around me who love me and to my best friends “pad and paper.”

With this blog I hope to inspire others to write their emotions on paper, let the forgiving page hear all the words of hurt, pain, contentment, joy. With this blog I hope to inspire myself to forgive all that hurts in my life, to let go of old grudges and to grow, from the inside out.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Genuinely Grateful

If you would have caught me a year ago, or even a few months ago, I would have been the queen of “woe is me.” I had mastered the art of feeling sorry for myself and even began to master the art of making others feel sorry for me. I felt so terrible that my lot in life wasn’t that of a Stepford family, rather I was dealt with what I felt was a losing hand of poker. And had I been an outsider looking in, I probably would have wanted to slap myself. It took a good long talk with a strong woman, who I am fortunate enough to consider a mentor, to really whack my woe is me ways away. She helped me open my eyes to how truly grateful I should be with the blessings my life has given me.
Now that I have come to my epiphany I seriously wonder how I had let my perception become so clouted. How can I not be so grateful that my dad was hired at the same place that helped him recover? How can I not be so grateful that despite my mom not having a job, that she has been able to remain so positive and such an angel for my dad and I? How can I not be grateful that I have a group of friends who care so deeply for me and are there for me to provide unconditional love and support? How can I not be grateful that I’ve found a job, that I actually really enjoy, a job that pays me enough, so worrying about bills isn’t an issue? How can I not be grateful for all the small blessings that I have in my life everyday?
That’s right, I have to be grateful. And yes I know that I will have days that will feel less than perfect, but from now on I know not to dwell on those days. Those days don’t define my life, me or my interactions with others. From now on the positive in my life is what will fuel my being. Something as simple as a smile will be the firewood for my soul. Because now I am grateful; grateful for every little thing that my life has to offer me.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


It feels as though there are so few moments in life where we can feel truly connected to another person, let alone a group of people. An occasional sports game can give us a sense of unity, or an intimate moment with a loved one, but these situations can last a few seconds and be fleeting in our lives. With the advances of technology in our everyday interactions such as facebook updates, texts messages and emails we keep our selves at a distance from actually making connections to those who are right in front of us. And this advancement in technology is truly amazing in a technical sense and even in its ability to keep us connected to people we otherwise wouldn’t be able to, however it is disheartening that we have become unable to sit across a table from someone and have a conversation with that person and not check our phones for texts, updates or emails.

But there are moments, however unfortunate the circumstance that brings them about might be, that have an amazing power to unite, and ignite a sense of love, compassion and brotherhood that so often is overlooked or unused in our lives. Recently our world saw two life altering events, one united us against a common evil and brought out our pride and love for one another, the other has cemented this feeling of camaraderie in a spectacular showing of patriotism and unfiltered joy, that as a child seeing both events has brought tears to my eyes to witness.

I hate the circumstances in which our unity has been developed; however I am enveloped in a sense of heart warmth with our reaction to it. And I truly hope that as the days, months and years pass from these times that we are all able to hold on to the feelings of oneness that we have been so fortunate enough to grasp. I feel as though if we can all hold a moment of unity with our brothers and sisters in our hearts, we are destined to head for a great place.