Emotional Healing. Child of an alcoholic. Young adult depression. Inspiration.

I was once told by a wise woman that emotions are a strong force to be reckoned with. They breathe their own life and have their own destructive force. If one does not allow their emotions both happy and sad to escape and feel acknowledged, they will eat away at the life they live in. My journey in life has been a road filled with many peaks of happiness and many valleys of depression. But through it all I have held those words of wisdom with me. I have always found it easy to release my anguish, my depression, my sadness, and my happiness to those around me who love me and to my best friends “pad and paper.”

With this blog I hope to inspire others to write their emotions on paper, let the forgiving page hear all the words of hurt, pain, contentment, joy. With this blog I hope to inspire myself to forgive all that hurts in my life, to let go of old grudges and to grow, from the inside out.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Bare feet, Big toes & Bunions

Relationships can give you super highs of self confidence and lonely lows of self consciousness. When you’re having a good day you can feel as though you’re the only person your partner can look at. But when you have those days, and we all have them, that you don’t feel as beautiful as you are, you can begin to nitpick at yourself, “my boobs are too small…he like blondes…I’m too chubby,” so many falsely perceived imperfections that we all want to change.
Let me pull an example out of my life’s book. I once dated a man with a foot fetish. So for me it wasn’t my waist or my bust or my butt that caused me my moments of anxiety about my body, it was my feet. And aside from a pedicure, there isn’t much you can do to conform your feet to some one’s idea of perfection. I did however think of Chinese foot binding, and then Googled it, terrible, terrible idea!
But in any case I started noticing other women’s feet, comparing my own to theirs. I began to grow more and more aware of my feet. Of how they looked, felt, even how they smelled. I began to crazy about them. He would tell me that it didn’t matter, that he liked me and my feet just they way I am, a plus size girl with size 9.5 feet and little bunions. Yet I could never believe him.
It actually took a good long look in the mirror for me to realize that he was right. That despite my imperfections, my big feet or bunions, that he wasn’t just dating my feet. He was dating me. Slowly I began to stop looking at other girl’s feet in comparison to mine and I began to accept myself,
Now I haven’t been in a relationship since my foot fetish friend so I can’t say that I’m now a changed woman. But I can hope that I go into my next relationship knowing that I am beautiful and worthy of love despite my imperfections. And who ever is next to accompany me through my journey will do just that, love me for my imperfections.


  1. I think that most women are way too critical of themselves (myself included). It doesn't really help that we're bombarded with society's idea of perfection every time we turn around. It would be nice if we could all accept ourselves for who we are and how we look. In a perfect world...

  2. Lets step ourselves closer to that perfect world. Why cant we? Instead of turning being jealous, why dont we compliment those who have what we want, and work a little harder on trying to become comfortable with ourselves. Lets Start A Body Loving Movement!!