Emotional Healing. Child of an alcoholic. Young adult depression. Inspiration.

I was once told by a wise woman that emotions are a strong force to be reckoned with. They breathe their own life and have their own destructive force. If one does not allow their emotions both happy and sad to escape and feel acknowledged, they will eat away at the life they live in. My journey in life has been a road filled with many peaks of happiness and many valleys of depression. But through it all I have held those words of wisdom with me. I have always found it easy to release my anguish, my depression, my sadness, and my happiness to those around me who love me and to my best friends “pad and paper.”



With this blog I hope to inspire others to write their emotions on paper, let the forgiving page hear all the words of hurt, pain, contentment, joy. With this blog I hope to inspire myself to forgive all that hurts in my life, to let go of old grudges and to grow, from the inside out.



Thursday, December 30, 2010

YesterYear

I’m generally a very optimistic person. I don’t allow negative things to effect me. I try to always see the positive in a situation. But for some reason these past few days have been some really pessimistic ones for me. At work I say “Happy New Years” to my customers, and almost always their reply is “Lets hope its better than 2010.” I remember saying something very similar for the past few years, but I’ve been proven wrong every time. In 2008 my dad got his first DUI… “Let’s hope its better than 2008” In 2009 we lost our house and my mom lost her job of over 25 years… “Let’s hope its better than 2009” In 2010 my dad got his second DUI and we moved a second time in under a year. So as this year comes to its final few days, thinking that 2011 is going to be a better year almost seems to be a futile effort. I’m afraid to get my hopes up for 2011, because I don’t want to see myself a year from now adding another unfortunate benchmark to that list.
However, as much as I would love to shut up the optimist in me, and just wallow in these pessimistic view, because they are much easier to conjure than optimistic ones, I can’t allow myself too. Yes, life these past years have been hard. It can bring tears to my eyes just thinking about them. But with the bad, also comes the good. And although it is hard to see the silver lining on what seems like a cloud that will not move, I know it has to be there. So although I do not want to read this a year from now, and say “I told you so” to myself, I will hope for better in 2011. 2011 will bring me and my family strength, happiness, serenity and more optimistic days.

So to all I say Happy New Year. Lets hope its better than 2010.
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2 comments:

  1. Letters To Grow FromDecember 31, 2010 at 6:26 PM

    The universe has a unique way of keeping your life in check. This morning, the night after posting this I was told that an old coworker of mine, a great girl who always has a friendly word and a warm smile's boyfriend of many years past away. I hate that it took this to bring things back into prespective. And I hope that I will keep this with me as a learning experience, so in the future when life is getting down, I know that no matter what I am lucky.

    Marissa, I am truly sorry for your loss. You are loved and there are many people here to support you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJanuary 5, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    Hey are you guys those kind of people that send out their holiday cards with a letter recapping the past year, if so, it would be an interesting read. Happy Happy New Year Brave Blogger!

    ReplyDelete

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